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10 Reasons people date

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The Primary Reasons People Date
(10) Ten reasons for dating
by Veda Garrison “Life Coach”.

In order to succeed in dating – you must know these dating secrets. Dating is about meeting another person and getting acquainted. Period. It’s not rocket science. It can be very similar to a job interview.

Men and women are seeking a compatible person(s). We all have different wants, desires, and unique personalities. The only way to see if the person is right for us is to meet, ask questions, then ask more questions. Usually, people are seeking to see if the person has the same or similar priorities in life.

Ten reasons men/women seek a date.

  • Someone to do things with. Go to sporting events together, go to the fair, go to the movies, etc. Most people do not like doing things alone.
  • Some people want to meet for sex. Some call it a “hookup.”
  • Some people are seeking a long-term marriage relationship.
  • Some married people are seeking to have an affair
  • Couples date other people. Alternative dating. Couples may seek a 3rd.
  • Men often date women for appearances—parties, business, etc.
  • Women date certain men for fun, pleasure, and gifts.
  • Men date certain women just for good conversation.
  • Many people seek dates because they are lonely.
  • Millions of men seek specific dates to satisfy sexual fetishes.

Some people believe they can have more fun if they are with another person.

Many people date to do things with – and these people seldom have thoughts of long-term relationships or marriage – at least not right now.

Men and women often seek others for sex. A sexual relationship is all they require right now. They are not seeking an emotional connection from a man or woman. They want a physical relationship, and that is all. These types of people may have a variety of sex partners.

Some people often want to date to meet someone with the same or similar set of priorities. They are seeking a man or woman for a long-term relationship that may lead to marriage.

Some women are seeking the right man for marriage. She wants to start a family. Some women are seeking a good provider for the family. She is seeking security to make sure her children are fed, sheltered, and protected.

Men who seek marriage with a woman – may be seeking how grounded or balanced the woman is in life. Is she dependable and reliable? Would she be loyal and faithful? Will she make a good mother? Will she care for the children when they are sick? Is she loving and gentle?  

Dating can be frustrating and confusing, and sometimes painful.  This is because some people are not honest with their intentions. This can lead to misunderstandings with people who date for long-term purposes. Dating for either reason is fine, but it is always important to be upfront about this on first dates to avoid unnecessary confusion.

Meeting someone new

Getting acquainted with another person can be exciting, and many people get nervous because they do not want to be rejected.

Some people date a variety of men or women. They date many people for a variety of reasons. Some people are simply seeking the best person for them. Again, it depends on what type of relationship they are seeking.

Dating can be a crapshoot. You could meet your new best friend or a potential romantic partner. You could also meet someone who makes you laugh or someone who shares an uncommon interest with you. 

Getting Acquainted

The first date is usually a meeting. This meeting determines if there is a connection or a chance for a second date or meeting. The second and third meetings are more commonly spent getting to know each other personally.

If the first meeting is just about sex, they choose a place for their sexual experience. They may or may not meet again. Usually, both people are not interested in a long-term relationship or getting further acquainted.

Most people enjoy sexual intimacy after they are well acquainted with each other. 

Relationships – A Level of Exclusivity

Many believe that the primary purpose of dating is to establish a relationship. It is also common for couples to date for a while before deciding whether they want to become exclusive or not with that individual. Exclusive means – they agree not to date anyone else.

Some even believe that you either have to become exclusive after the third date or stop seeing each other altogether.

While I believe this is too extreme and general, there is a good reason people think this way. If both sides are looking for a relationship, they will not continue to see each other if they do not see themselves with each other long term.

They may or may not remain friends, but they will not continue dating if there is no romantic potential past three or four dates.

Thus, the primary purpose of the date is to see if there is a romantic connection and see if there is a chance for a long-term relationship.

Relationships can be painful when ONE or the other pretends to be someone they are not. In other words – they pretended to have the same purpose for dating as the other.

Marriage – Long-term

Dating to find the “right” marriage partner is more common among more mature age groups who have stability in their lives. A person’s life situation will often indicate their dating motives. Some people look for subtle signs if the person is marriage material or not. They often look for a person who is reliable, dependable, honest, and will be loyal in the relationship. Naturally, some people will con the other person. This usually leads to heartbreak.

Casual Sex – Hookups

Millions of men and women enjoy SEX.  Most people want sex but are not interested in having sex on the first date. Some people wait until the 3rd, 4th, or 5th date and maybe longer. Some people will “hook up” the same day they meet. Often, these people are not seeking a long-term relationship. 

Infidelity – Cheating on their Spouse

Most people who cheat on their spouses are not happy or satisfied with their partner. Either they lied to their partner about their characteristics of “loyalty” – they secretly enjoy a variety of sex partners. Sometimes people have specific fetishes that their partner does not accept – so they seek others who will have fun with their obsession.

Be Cautious and Avoid Certain People

Certain men cruise dating sites to find women with young children. These nefarious men seek a relationship with a woman – only to get their hands on the children. These are called “pedophiles.”  There are literally thousands of pedophiles seeking women with children. Be cautious. 

Millions of women, mostly women under thirty, are seeking men with money. Men should always keep their financial matters secret.  If a woman is 10 to 40 years younger than a man, then it is wise to ask himself the question – “why is she so interested in me?” Be aware of golddiggers.  Some women will marry for nefarious reasons. Some will divorce the man after 1 or 2 years and financially steal property and money.


Dating is about meeting someone you may want to know better. It would benefit people to take dating slow, calm down and enjoy the show.

It would also benefit everyone concerned to be truthful about why you are dating. Tell the truth about the reason you have decided to date. Others will respect you more and fewer people will be emotionally harmed. Dating should be a fun experience.


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